Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
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