What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
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