she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize