she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
