they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
