I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
i think i have herpe
just one?
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Randomize
