so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
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