it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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