Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I wannas sexs uuuuu
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
