i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Randomize