dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
