Have you finally orgasmed yet?
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
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