Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
