You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
