I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Randomize
