I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
The air was thick with penises
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Randomize
