let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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