I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Randomize
