Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
