i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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