Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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