Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Randomize
