i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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