she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
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