just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize