In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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