that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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