so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
