if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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