Where did you get a picture of my penis
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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