when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Randomize