Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
