where am i from again
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
