went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
