I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize