I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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