she was so not down for the gang bang
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
You need Xanax blowdarts
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
