Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Randomize
