My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
