she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
