I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
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