I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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