Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
