My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
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