oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
