Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
She announced her abortion via fbk
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Two words: nipple clamps
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