she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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