bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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