apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Randomize
