You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
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