Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize