i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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