just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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