she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
