It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
