dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
