I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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