I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Randomize
